Grandmommy’s Notes in the Margin

I made a comment on Facebook recently about my “love story” being better than my sister’s. We both have pretty amazing stories. A friend asked to hear mine. So, I’m reposting what I wrote on November 4th, just after the death of my BFF.

On November 1, 2008 I lost my very best friend~my husband, Robert.

Many people had different opinions about Robert. But, I would like to tell you about the man I knew.

In May 1986, I was a single mom with 3 children. I was lost, floundering, lonely. I so desperately needed a friend that could accept this crazy, neurotic mother of 3 very obnoxious children. We were living in a 2 bedroom duplex which meant that I slept in the living room so that my daughter could have her own room. (15 year old girls need their space).

I promised my children that we would move that summer. We wanted 3 bedrooms, a yard…You get the picture. I also was in a relationship that was destructive to me emotionally. The only one who could change my life was the Lord.

We were involved in our church. The kids were in RA’s, youth choir, enjoyed their Sunday School. I was in choir and had my great friends in Sunday School.

But, there was a void in our lives that would not go away.

I wasn’t really looking for a spouse. I didn’t do the singles bar scene or any of those things. But, I was lonely and I drove my children crazy. On the weekend of May 3, 1986, I cried out to the Lord.

I enlisted the help of my friends by calling them on the phone (all night long) and begging them to pray for me. I was so alone and did not want to be.

The following week, I drove around our area, looking for a house. I found one that looked promising and called the number on the sign…

Robert answered the phone.

We made a date to look at houses in my neighborhood on the following day. He was pretty sure after talking with me that I could not afford to buy a house, but what the heck…

Robert drove to my home to pick me up. He came to the door; I looked through the peephole and saw the answer to my prayers. I quickly thanked God and opened the door. He said I took his breath away (isn’t that sweet?). I did not know, but Robert had also been praying for a “wife”. He dated…a lot. But, no one was a “wife”.

We looked at a couple of houses. As we talked we learned that we were both single parents, we were both Christians (and Baptist), and we loved coffee!

Looking at houses was becoming more and more weary and we decided to go to my place for coffee. After about 5 pots of Folgers, he left. But he returned 2 hours later to meet me (and my lovely 15 year old daughter and 2 strikingly goodlooking sons!!) at a concert at my church, Hidden Valley Baptist in Houston, Texas.

Five weeks later we were married in that same spot by Rev Leroy Meyer, our pastor.

I cannot begin to describe all that Robert has meant to me and my children over the years. However, I can tell you that our goal was to blend our 2 families. We wanted them to all be strong in the Lord. We wanted them to know and love each other as brothers and sister.

We wanted each of our children to know the Lord and we wanted to be a family.

God gave us and that and so much more.

We lost this wonderful leader of our family on Saturday, November 1, 2008 after a hard-fought battle with cancer. He has helped lead all of our children to know the Lord. He has always been there to listen, impart his wisdom, smoke a cigar or drink a beer with them. He loved his family and it was returned to him hundredfold.

We will miss you, my dear. But, we will see you again. (By the way, would you please ask the builder if the rooms of my mansion could be painted pink?)

I love you with all of my heart and I thank God for the privilege of having been your wife.